


A Silent Storm

by Sebismytrash



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Drug Use, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-23 16:08:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4883194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sebismytrash/pseuds/Sebismytrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky knows that everyone thinks he is a machine and a monster. But how is he supposed to make himself human again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first fanfic that I have written. I put this on my instagram, which is stan_luv, but I have rewrote it and changed some things on here to make it better. I hope you guys think its good :)

_Head to toes_

_Flesh and bones_

_Should feel whole_

"No, Steve. I-I'm fine with just staying at home tonight. I really don't feel like being seen out in public today." Bucky whispered, looking down at this hands. One of them was human flesh and the other was made of metal. He sighed. Steve gave Bucky a small, sympathetic smile. He should have known that Bucky would not have wanted to go out in public so soon. He had only just regained his memories and was still trying to get used to how much the world had changed since the last time he saw it. Since  _Bucky_ had last saw it. Not the Winter Soldier. Bucky may have been the Winter Soldier but the Winter Soldier was not who Bucky was. Some of the public understood this and had actually forgiven him for the things that he had done. But, a lot of the public still saw him as a villain. Nothing more. 

Steve walked over to where Bucky was sitting on the couch and sat down next to him, slowly. He reached his arms around Bucky's shoulders and pulled him in for a hug. Bucky closed his eyes and rested on Steve's shoulder. He felt so comfortable there. Safe. Steve had always made him feel this way. He used to like it when Steve was smaller than him and Bucky would look after him and take care of him when he was ill and stuff like that. But, he loved it when Steve looked after him and took care of him now too. It felt nice... Knowing that Steve still cared about him and had forgiven him since he tried to kill Steve a few months ago.

Tony was having a party at the Stark Tower and had invited everyone to go. Bucky and Tony were on good terms now, as Tony had forgiven him. He really liked looking at Bucky's metal arm and wanted to find ways to change it and make it better than it already was.

Steve turned his head and kissed Bucky on the cheek.

"We'll be back in a few hours okay Bucky? There's some chicken in the fridge if you want to make a sandwich or something while we're out. Keep your phone on too. I'll phone you when we're on our way back home. Okay?" Steve said as he got up and made his way to the front door, where Sam and Natasha were standing, talking. Bucky nodded his head and gave Natasha and Sam a small wave. They both returned the gesture and smiled, as they walked out of the door on their way to Tony's party.

_But the void_

_A silent storm.._


	2. Chapter 2

Bucky's eyes moved down to his left arm. He hated it so much. The look of it. The feel of it. It made him feel unhuman. No wonder the public hated him so much.

Whenever he saw his arm, it reminded him of 70 years ago, when they put the metal arm on him. Even though he had been sedated most of the time, he would keep waking up in pure agony and the sounds of scraping flesh and metal. The pain was excruciating and he couldn't do anything about it. He was terrified all the time and all he could do was shout and scream for Steve as best as he could, hoping that he would somehow find him. But he didn't.. He screamed until his lungs hurt and then they would just sedate him again and he would drift off into the darkness.

Then there was the torture for the last 70 years and all of the brainwashing. Erasing his memory so he would forget about Steve. Forget about his time in the war. Forget about his family and his friends and all of the amazing times he had with them. It was complete torture and the pain was so bad. The first few times they brainwashed him, he had tried to fight back. He tried punching and screaming as best as he could to try and get everyone away from him. But he never won the fight. They just put him in the chair and gave him the mouth guard and then basically electrocuted his brain. After that, he just gave up fighting. He let them put the mouth guard in and didn't complain. He knew that it wouldn't do any good. So he just gave up..

He winced at the memory, and moved his fingers over his left shoulder, where flesh met the metal of his arm.

_I'm there to use my_

_heart and my hands._

_Somehow the bruises_

_changed my plans._

It had now been about two hours since Steve, Sam and Natasha had left for Tony's party and now Bucky was bored sitting there. He was annoyed at himself. He was annoyed at the public for judging him and treated him horribly. He knew about all the things he had done in his time as the Winter Soldier, but that wasn't him! It's not like had any choice to do any of that. He didn't choose to be taken in by Hydra and tortured and have his memories wiped. Hydra did that themselves. They took his entire life away and crushed it right in front of him. They had torn everything apart. If it wasn't for the public, Bucky would be out there with his friends right now at Tony's part, enjoying himself. Steve had tried telling people that it was not Bucky's fault but the public just didn't believe it. They thought that Bucky was a monster. 

Now Bucky himself was starting to think that maybe the public was right..

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention that this fanfic was inspired by the song Silent Storm by Carl Espen. I think that the song really fits the Winter Soldier quite well.

Bucky stood up from the couch and walked over to the fridge to get the chicken and make himself a sandwich. Once he had done that, he sat back down on the couch and wondered if the public had realized that Steve and his friends were out. He turned on the TV and he was right. 

There, right on the screen, was a TV reporter who had caught up with Steve at the party and was interviewing him right there.

"So.. Cap.. You haven't really been anywhere recently. Trying to keep out of the public eye?" The interviewer laughed and practically shoved the microphone in Steve's face.

"Erm.. No, not really. Just trying to look after my best friend until he can get back on own two feet again." Steve smiled.

Bucky smiled at the fact that Steve had called him that. A few months ago, he had been trying to kill Steve. But, Steve had forgiven him and his opinion of Bucky had not changed at all. He still called Bucky his best friend and that made him happy. 

"Ah, your best friend? You mean the Win- Erm.. Bucky? Right? He isn't here today though. He isn't with you, Sam and Natasha." 

"No. He felt like staying at home today." Steve said, looking over at Natasha and Sam, who noticed that he was feeling very uncomfortable talking about this subject in public.

"Well.. that's good for him. Staying out of the public eye, I mean. Well.. He has that metal arm. He's practically a machine." Bucky's face dropped and he dropped his plate of food on the floor. He saw that Steve didn't answer and he just stormed away from the interviewer, back to where Natasha and Sam were standing.

The words kept replaying over and over in Bucky's head, like a broken record. He looked down at his metal arm and clenched his fist, rapidly breaking the coffee table in front of him. Maybe the interviewer was right. Maybe the public were right. 

**Maybe he was a machine.**

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Steve walked up to Sam and Natasha with an annoyed look on his face.

"What's wrong, Cap?" Sam asked, concerned.

"Did you not hear what she just said about Bucky?" Steve said, walking over to a group of chairs that were in the corner of the room. He sat down in one and stared at his bottle of beer in front of him. Sam and Natasha followed him and sat down in the chairs opposite him. They both looked at each other with blanks on their faces and then looked back at Steve. Steve sighed.

"She called him.. She called him a machine." Steve whispered.

"Oh my god, that's terrible." Natasha said. Steve nodded.

"If I know Bucky well enough, he will probably be checking to see if we were on the news, since he can't come out with us. I hope he didn't see this. I don't know what this would do to him if he knew that people were calling him that. He already knows that most of the public aren't so keen on him, but he doesn't know the exact names that they were calling him. He has spent the last 70 years being told that he was worthless and only a machine for Hydra's use and their use only. He needs to be loved and treated kindly by people and he needs to learn to trust people again. We three are probably the only people he trusts right now. He does know the other Avengers, but not as well as he knows us three."

Sam and Natasha nodded in agreement.

"Maybe you should call him. Just to check if he is okay." Sam suggested.

"Yeah, that's a good idea. Just to check up on him." Steve said, whilst picking up the phone and dialling Bucky's number. Hopefully Bucky would answer and everything would be okay.

 

* * *

 

 

_And there's a silent storm inside me_

_Looking for a home_

Bucky was still sitting on the couch in shock. Is that what the public called him behind his back? A machine? A monster? Worthless? Not human? He had already been told that he was those things for the last 70 years by Hydra and he did not want to hear them again from anyone else. 

He stood up slowly and took a deep breath and walked over to the bathroom. He shut the door and rested his hands on the sides of the sink. He looked into the mirror and stared at his reflection. Eyes that were once happy and full of life, were now dead and completely emotionless. His skin was pale and unhealthy. He was still trying to get back to his full health. His hair was long and slightly greasy and it hung lifeless in his face. A tear rolled down his cheek.

Even that wasn't enough proof for him to realize that he was still human. Not a machine.

He opened the cabinet door and saw a knife in the bottom. He hesitated and then reached down and picked it up. He touched the edge of the knife with his finger, to test how sharp it was. He winced as he felt the blade gently pierce his skin. He put the knife down on the side of the sink and looked down at his metal arm. This was what made a machine. Human people were made of flesh, not metal. If it wasn't for this stupid metal arm, the public would not hate him. They would not say that was not human or a monster or a machine. He had killed so many people with his metal arm. Torn so many families apart. He had so much blood on his hands and it would be impossible to get rid of it. 

He stared at his reflection for a few seconds and then picked the knife back up.

“I'll prove it. I'll prove to the public that I'm not a machine.” Bucky said.

He moved the knife closer to his metal arm, right where the metal met his human flesh...

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

_*Ring ring*_

The phone kept on ringing and there was still no answer on the other side of the phone. The phone went to voicemail and Steve hesitated before speaking.

"Bucky? Hey its Steve. Erm.. I just called to check up on you. We're still at the party but we will probably be coming home soon, okay? See you soon, Buck." Steve said, before ending the call.

He turned to Sam and Natasha, with a worried look on his face.

"He didn't answer." He paused. "It went straight to voicemail."

Steve was worried. Bucky normally would answer his phone straight away and he would have his phone near him all the time. He was very interested in how they worked. He loved all the apps and the games on the phone. He would sit there for hours just experimenting with things on it.

"Something has to be wrong, guys. Bucky would normally answer straight away. Also, I told him to leave his phone on and keep it beside him for when I called later." Steve said, concerned.

"Maybe he's just a bit busy. He could be getting food or in the bathroom or something. Don't worry about it, Steve." Sam said.

"I'm sure he's fine, Steve. It's okay." Natasha said, reaching out her hand to hold Steve's.

Steve looked down at her hand over his and closed his eyes.

"I can't help worrying about him, Nat. He's so emotional and vulnerable right now. He's been through so much and he doesn't really know how to deal with it. He can hardly even take care of himself at the moment. I think it would be best if I went home... Just to make sure he is okay.

"Okay, Cap. But if you're going, then we're going too. We wanna make sure that he's fine, just as much as you do!" Sam said, as he got up with Steve. Natasha followed and got her coat and they all left the building and stood outside, waiting for a taxi.

* * *

 

"Bucky?" Steve walked up the stairs slowly, followed by Sam and Natasha.

"Bucky?! We're back now. Can you hear me? Where are you, Buck? I tried phoning you but you di-" Steve stopped after opening the door. He stood there in shock.

 

**_Oh god Bucky, what have you done?!_ **


	6. Chapter 6

 

_I hope that someone's gonna find me_

_And say that I belong_

Pills. There were pills scattered around the floor. Steve didn't know what types of pills they were. But they were everywhere. The coffee table was smashed on the living room floor. There was also an empty bottle of alcohol on the floor.

"Bucky?" Steve shouted, worriedly. Sam and Natasha also shouted for him, and started looking around for where he might be.

Steve saw that the TV was turned on and it was still showing people at Tony's party. Steve's mouth dropped open in shock.

"Oh no. Bucky? Please answer me! Where are you, Buck?" Steve shouted urgently.

He walked towards the bathroom and opened the door. 

"Oh my god. Bucky!"

* * *

 

_I'll wait forever and a lifetime_

_To find I'm not alone_

 

Lying there in the bath tub was Bucky, covered in blood. There was blood all over the bath tub and there was also blood coming out of his arm. His skin was pale and he wasn't breathing very well. His eyes were closed.

Steve ran over to the bath and climbed in behind Bucky and moved his head so it was leaning back on Steve's shoulder. He turned the shower water on, hoping that the coldness of the water would help wake Bucky up a little bit and get him moving.

He knew as soon as he walked in that something was wrong. Then when he saw the pills on the floor, he just knew it. He knew that Bucky had taken those pills. But how many did he take?

Steve opened Bucky's mouth quickly and put two fingers down his throat. He knew that if he made Bucky throw up the pills, there would be more of a chance that Bucky would survive this. The serum that Hydra put in his body made him stronger than a normal human being anyway. Tears ran down his face as he kept trying to make Bucky throw up the pills.

"Come on Bucky, please. Don't you die on me!" Steve cried.

Just when he was about to give up, Bucky coughed and puked up some of the pills into the bath tub. Steve sighed with relief from behind Bucky. Bucky turned around slowly and saw Steve gazing down at him. He looked around to see himself in the bathroom and looked down at his arm which was covered in blood.

"Steve?! Oh my god. I'm sorry. I didn't mean t-" Bucky said and then fell unconscious in Steve's arms. He was losing a lot of blood. They had to get him help. Fast.

"Sam? Phone 911. Bucky needs help right now. Otherwise he might not make it!" Steve shouted to Sam, who had walked in to the room a few minutes ago.

Sam and Natasha left the room and Steve heard him on the phone. Sam walked back into the room a few moments later.

"The ambulance should be here in about 10 minutes, Steve. It should be okay." Sam said.

"Let's just hope so." Steve gave Sam a small smile. Sam returned it, before walking out of the room to help calm Natasha down, who had been sat on the couch crying for about 5 minutes now. She and Bucky had become really close friends in the last few months and the last thing she wanted was to lose one of the only people who understood all the pain that she had went through.

"It's gonna be okay, Bucky. Everything's gonna be okay." Steve whispered into Bucky's ear, gently stroking his hair.

 


	7. Chapter 7

The ambulance had gotten there quite quickly. They carried Bucky into the ambulance and Steve, Sam and Natasha had followed them to the hospital.

They had to sit in the waiting room while the doctors ran loads of tests and tried to save Bucky..

It had been a stressful few hours but then finally one of the doctors had came out of the room.

"Steve Rogers?" A voice shouted.

Steve's head looked up and he jumped out of his seat quickly. "Yes, Doctor. That's me. Is he alright? Is Bucky going to be okay?!"

"So, on the good side, Bucky should be fine. He did take a lot of pills mixed with alcohol and we're going to have his stomach pumped and hopefully that should wash all of the pills out of his system. We'll also keep him in the hospital for a few days and take some more tests and see when he will be allowed home. We've bandaged up his arm and it doesn't really look that bad. The mixture of pills and alcohol are looking to be the most serious. He should be fine in a few days to a week but for now, we are going to have him connected up to a heart monitor and I.V fluid will be administrated." The doctor said, looking at Steve and giving a small smile.

Steve breathed a sigh of relief.

"He's gonna be okay?" Steve asked quietly.

"He's gonna be okay!" The doctor said, squeezing Steve's shoulder. He smiled at Sam and Natasha and walked back out of the waiting room.

"Oh thank god! I was so worried!" Natasha said, running up to hug Steve, with tears running down her cheeks."

"Me too, Nat." Steve replied, hugging her back.

**Bucky was going to be okay...**

* * *

 

It had been a few days now since Bucky had attempted suicide and had been brought to the hospital. Steve was spending most of his time sitting on the chair beside Bucky's hospital bed. He still had not woken up yet. He had his stomach pumped and there was I.V. fluid and loads of tubes going into his body. Steve looked at Bucky. How could he let him get this? He didn't know that Bucky had been upset. He should have at least talked to him about it. He knew that it was hard for Bucky because a lot of the public still didn't accept him.. But he didn't know that Bucky would get so depressed that it would lead to this.. He felt awful about it.

Sam and Natasha had tried to tell Steve that he needed to go home and rest and have some sleep, but Steve wouldn't listen. He needed Bucky to know that people still cared about him. If Bucky woke up and there was nobody there.. he would think that nobody cared. Steve was going to sit there until he woke up..

They were going to bring someone in, for when Bucky woke up, so he could talk about his problems and why he attempted suicide.. It all seemed so real now. This had actually happened. His childhood friend. His  **best** friend had actually attempted suicide because of something that he had no control over. It was so unfair..

Steve leaned forward and held Bucky's hand. Bucky still wasn't awake and Steve wasn't sure if Bucky would even know that Steve was holding his hand.. But he held it anyway. He stroked his thumb over the back of Bucky's hand.

"You're gonna be okay, Buck. Everything's gonna be fine.." Steve whispered, a single tear rolling slowly down his cheek.

* * *

 

Steve was sitting next to Bucky's hospital bed, reading a newspaper. He had taken a small break from being in the hospital, and he had went out for lunch with Sam and Nat. It was nice to go out to lunch and just chat about things. The public hadn't been really intruding and had just left them all to their own personal space, which was good. He couldn't really cope with speaking to the public at this point. He needed time to just think things through and just to get back to normal.

He looked up at Bucky's face. It looked like he was just sleeping peacefully.

He focused his eyes back on his newspaper and started reading it again.

"S-Steve?" A weak voice asked.


	8. Chapter 8

Steve looked up from his newspaper and saw that Bucky's eyes were slowly opening. He looked so weak. 

"Ssh Buck. It's okay." Steve said, slowly smiling at him.

Bucky started to slowly sit up, groggily and looked around the room. His face was a mixture of confusion and fear.

"W-where am I?" Bucky asked. He looked down and saw loads of tubes over the bed that he was sitting in. Soft bed sheets. Clear walls. Tubes. Flowers on the table.

*Beep Beep*

Bucky looked to the side of the bed.

A heart monitor..  _Oh no._

"Oh god. S-Steve. I'm sorry. I - I wasn't trying to hurt myself. I promise. I was just so-" 

"Hey! Bucky. Ssh. It's alright. Just go back to sleep, Buck." Steve put his hand on his forehead and started stroking lightly, calming him down. His forehead felt warm. A lot less warm than before. He was slowly getting better.

Bucky slowly closed his eyes and soon, he had peacefully fallen back to sleep. Steve continued to stroke his hair, slowly. After a few minutes, making sure that Bucky wouldn't be waking up again soon, Steve walked out of the room to tell the doctor that Bucky had woken up.

* * *

 

It had been a few days since Bucky had woken up and Steve, Sam and Nat were all at home watching at TV, when the phone rang.

Sam walked over to the phone and picked it up. 

"Hey, its Sam." He paused. "Yeah, he's here. Hold on one sec." Sam passed the phone to Steve, who was sitting down. "Steve. Its the doctor from the hospital."

Steve jumped up and got the phone from Sam.

"Yeah? Its Steve... U-huh. Yep. Oh.. Really? Are you sure? Okay.. we'll be right there. Thank you, Doctor." Steve said, ending the call.

"Guys. We have to go to the hospital now." Steve said to Sam and Nat and grabbed his coat.

* * *

 

They arrived at the hospital about 20 minutes later and were sitting in the waiting room, waiting for the Doctor to come out and speak to them. 

"Steve Rogers?" the Doctor shouted out. Steve stood up.

"Follow me, Steve." He said and started walking towards his private room, followed by Steve. Sam and Natasha stayed sitting down, waiting for them to return with the news.

The Doctor opened the door and walked in and gestured to a seat in front of his desk.

"Have a seat, Mr Rogers." He said. Steve sat down.

"Well, since you last saw Bucky. He's been making good progress. All of the pills and the alcohol seem to be out of his system by now and all of his organs are fine. His breathing is normal. He is still a bit weak and groggy at the moment and he still has some of the sedatives in his system. We'll just take a few blood tests from him and he should be able to go home in a few hours!" The Doctor said, smiling at Steve. 

"Wow. That's great! Thank you so much, Doctor. Can I visit him now?" Steve asked, hopefully.

"Yes of course. Only for a few minutes though. We need to take these tests, and then you'll be able to take him home!"

Steve walked out of the room, followed by the Doctor and found Bucky's room. Bucky was sat up in bed, watching the TV on the screen above him. It was some space show. He had always been interested in space and science. Ever since they were young, Bucky always talked about how much he wanted to visit Space and see what all of the planets looked like, and he wanted to walk on the moon. He was fascinated by the idea of it. He looked everything scientific. Bucky was so drawn into the TV show that he didn't even notice Steve walking in. 

"Hey Buck." Steve said, patting his arm slightly and sitting down on the chair next to the bed. Bucky turned the screen off.

"Oh. Hey Steve." Bucky smiled. He still felt a little bit dizzy.

"So. The doctors are just going to do a few more tests and then you'll be allowed to come home with us again. That's great, isn't it?" 

"Wow. Yeah Stevie.. That's good news. I really want to go home. I hate being in this hospital.." Bucky said with a sad look on his face.

"The more I'm sitting in this hospital.. the more I am reminded of the fact that I actually attempted suicide. I still can't even believe I did. I wasn't thinking properly. I swear. I wasn't actually  _trying_ to hurt myself. I just wanted to prove that I was still human.."

"Oh Buck. You are still human. Just because you have a metal arm, that doesn't mean that you aren't human. You still have a heart don't you? They didn't take that away from you. You can still feel emotion. You can still laugh. You can cry. You can feel sadness. You can feel happiness. You can feel anger. You can feel emotions. The only difference is, you have a metal arm instead of a one made of flesh. But that doesn't make you not human, and that definitely does not make you a monster. Some of the public may not understand you and the things that you have been through, but I do, okay? I understand you Bucky. We've been friends for so long. I can't lose you now. I- I love you Buck.." Steve said, looking down at his hands. 

Bucky's mouth dropped open. "You what?"

"I erm. Forget I just said that, actually. Its nothing." Steve laughed, anxiously. Bucky reached his hand out and took Steve's hand in his.

"I love you too, Stevie. For years now. Obviously when I was The Winter Soldier, I couldn't exactly remember you. But now I do. I remember everything. You've always been there for me and made me happy when I needed it. You've always supported me. And even though I actually tried to kill you a few months ago, you have still forgiven me. I care so much about you. I love you Steve." Bucky said, a tear rolling down his cheek.

Steve and Bucky both looked at each other for a moment until Steve leaned in and placed a small kiss on Bucky's lips. He leaned back and smiled at Bucky.

"Now, you should have a nap. They are going to take some more tests in about an hour, and then soon, you'll be able to come home with us. Okay?" Steve said, stroking Bucky's left cheek with the back of his hand. Bucky nodded and slowly closed his eyes.

Steve smiled and walked out of the door.


	9. Chapter 9

It had been a few days since Bucky had went back home with Steve, Sam and Nat.

They had thrown all of the alcohol out of the kitchen and put the pills somewhere, where Bucky wouldn't be able to get to them. Steve had also moved all of the knives too.. Just in case..

Bucky was getting better.

The public also knew what had happened and there had been news about it everywhere. Steve tried to make sure that Bucky didn't stress out about it too much, because they didn't want another suicide attempt. The News was rarely turned on, apart from when Bucky had left the room.

Bucky and Steve hadn't talked about the thing that happened in the hospital yet. They didn't know when to bring it up.

* * *

 

Bucky walked down the stairs to find Steve making pancakes. 

"Morning, Buck." Steve said as he looked over, smiling. 

"Hey!" Bucky ran a hand through his long hair and took a seat in the kitchen, watching Steve make the pancakes.

"Almost done." Steve said, as he flipped the pancake. 

Sam jogged into the room and grabbed a bottle from the kitchen bench and filled it up with water. 

"So I'll be about an hour or two. Gonna do my morning run. This time I'll go without Cap speeding past me everywhere. I just want to be able to focus on me and not have a bloody golden retriever chasing me wherever I go." Sam joked, patting Bucky on the back and heading out of the door.

"I am NOT a golden retriever." Steve said, pretending to be angry. Bucky laughed. 

"You sure do look like one, Stevie."

"Shut up, you!" Steve walked out to Bucky and put the pancakes on both of their plates. He poured him and Bucky a glass of milk and sat down with him to eat his breakfast.

About a minute passed and none of them said a word, both just eating their breakfast, until Bucky said spoke up.

"So. A few nights ago, at the hospital. Erm.. did you really mean what you said?" Bucky blushed, and looked at Steve.

Steve put his fork back down on his plate and crossed his arms, and looked back at Bucky.

"Erm... oh I forgot about that. But.. yeah, I did mean it Buck. Every word..." 

"Just because, since you hadn't mentioned anything about it since we kissed, I thought that it was just a heat of the moment sorta thing and you didn't actually mean it. Or you were just saying it to make me feel a bit better after my suicide attempt and stuff.."

"No Bucky! I really meant every word of what I said. I've been in love with you for ages. It killed me to see you hurt yourself like that. Promise me that you won't hurt yourself again. Please, Buck." Steve said, reaching out and taking Bucky's hand in his.

Bucky paused, and looked down at his hand, in Steve's.

"I promise." He whispered, looking up at Steve and giving a small smile. Steve smiled back and leaned over to kiss Bucky on the lips. Bucky kissed him back and moved his hand into Steve's hair and moaned lightly. Steve leaned back to catch his breath and he opened his eyes and looked into Bucky's.

"I've been wanting to do that for ages." Steve said, breathlessly.

"Me too." Bucky replied. 

"So.. Sam's gonna be gone for a few hours.. And Nat is still asleep..." Steve winked.

"Steve. You're trying to be seductive and you are still the world's most cutest golden retriever ever!" Bucky laughed and leaned over and kissed Steve on the lips again.

"But yeah.. I know exactly what you mean Stevie."

* * *

 

Half an hour had passed and Steve and Bucky were lying in bed next to each other. Bucky had his head on Steve's chest and Steve was moving his hand slowly through Bucky's hair, relaxing him.

"That was amazing." Steve said.

Bucky hummed in response, he was feeling sleepy.

"Buckyyy. You can't go back to sleep, sweetie. We have to get up and go shopping for Nat, remember?"

"Noooo" Bucky groaned.

"She'll probably be up already, actually." Steve got up and put his pyjama bottoms on and walked out of the door, to see Natasha sitting in the kitchen, eating a bowl of cereal.

"Oh wow. So you've finally finished have you?" Natasha smirked.

"What do you mean?" Steve asked, blushing. Bucky walked out of the bedroom after him, hair messed up and pyjama bottoms hanging low on his hips. He rubbed his eyes, confused.

"Erm.. Hey Nat." Bucky, gave a small wave of his hand.

"Hey Buck. Have fun, you two?" Natasha laughed.

"Oh god. You could hear us?!" Steve blushed harder.

"Yep.. I could definitely hear you two. Remind Tony to get some sound proof walls up in here because I swear to god, I cannot go to sleep with you two like that."

Steve hid his face in his hands. Bucky walked up to him and took his hands away and kissed him on the lips.

"She's only joking, Stevie." Bucky laughed. "Come on, we need to get going if we want to get this shopping before it gets packed."

"Okay, Buck. I love you."

"Love you too Steve"

 

_And there's a silent storm inside me_

_And some day I'll be calm_

_Some day I'll be calm.._


End file.
